[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16.1″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” background_enable_color=”on” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” _builder_version=”4.16.1″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” module_alignment=”left” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”2px||4px|2%|false|false” custom_padding_tablet=”” custom_padding_phone=”0px||0px||true|false” module_alignment_tablet=”” module_alignment_phone=”center” module_alignment_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_team_member name=”Dr. Nicole Beurkens” position=”Child psychologist” image_url=”https:\/\/static.qustodio.com\/public-site\/uploads\/2021\/09\/30144434\/Dr.Nicole.png” _builder_version=”4.16.1″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” width=”80%” width_tablet=”” width_phone=”” width_last_edited=”on|phone” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”||24px|7px|false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” position_text_align_tablet=”” position_text_align_phone=”center” position_text_align_last_edited=”on|phone” text_orientation_tablet=”” text_orientation_phone=”center” text_orientation_last_edited=”on|phone” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_team_member][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” width=”100%” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/static.qustodio.com\/public-site\/uploads\/2022\/10\/11120354\/Blog_AreOnlineFriendshipsGoodForTeens_Hero.png” alt=”Are online friendships good for teens?” title_text=”Blog_AreOnlineFriendshipsGoodForTeens_Hero” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||24px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-80px|||||” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
The ability to be in constant contact with strangers online is a relatively new phenomenon, and kids connecting with people they don\u2019t know in real life and developing friendships in an online environment has become much more the norm. As a result, <\/span>it\u2019s normal for adults to have questions and concerns about online friendships and how to help kids navigate them<\/b> in healthy ways.<\/span><\/p>\n Friendships are an important part of kids\u2019 lives, and provide so many benefits and learning opportunities<\/a>. We all know that <\/span>real, lasting friendships are often formed as a result of common interests<\/b>. Two friends on the same soccer team may discover they also have a love of science fiction, for instance.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n These compatibilities can be more difficult for kids to discover in real life, especially in school where they\u2019re grouped based on age alone. Teens who are early or late bloomers often have trouble making friends with their same-aged peers. Connecting with peers online can be a great way for kids to solve these issues. By liking and following certain channels or forums, it\u2019s easy for teens to express their interests and connect with like-minded peers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n These common interests can be the basis for friendships and can also facilitate offline engagement. <\/span>Internet friendships can be a valuable part of kids\u2019 lives, provided they have support to navigate them in a healthy way.<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Friendships are an important part of life for any child, as they allow them to feel connected, understood, and cared for. These relationships can happen in real life or online, and research has shown that <\/span>both types of friendships can provide benefits<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n While parents may worry that friendships online aren\u2019t \u201creal\u201d or can be detrimental in some way, <\/span>the reality is that many kids cultivate healthy and appropriate online friendships in various ways<\/b>. They may have a peer or group of peers they play games with, participate in a forum or group, communicate with on social media<\/a>, or connect in some other way. This can all be healthy, as long as there aren\u2019t signs indicating otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n If your child is not spending any time in real life with peers and only has online friends, that is an indication that perhaps they are overfocused on online relationships. They might be experiencing bullying by peers in real life, have anxiety about in-person socialization, or some other issue that needs to be addressed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Other<\/b> signs that online friendships may be unhealthy include<\/b>:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Parents often ask me if their child\u2019s online friendships are as beneficial as friendships in person, and <\/span>I think the answer depends on the child and the type of relationship<\/b>. Certainly there can be surface level online friendships that are valuable, but lack true support or depth.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n However, I\u2019ve also worked with children and teens who develop deeper connections with a friend online, and it serves as a healthy and valuable support to them beyond some face-to-face friendships they have. <\/span>This can especially be the case for kids who are neurodivergent or have other unique needs<\/b>, conditions, or preferences that make it difficult for them to form deeper connections with peers in their local school or community.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n One of the downsides of virtual friendships (depending on how they are interacting) is that kids can\u2019t communicate as fully because they can\u2019t read body language, eye contact, or even tone like you can in person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This is why having in-person friendships in addition to online relationships is beneficial<\/b>. In general, it\u2019s helpful to avoid thinking of this as \u201ceither-or\u201d, and instead focus on having friendships both in person as well as online. This ensures that kids aren\u2019t only relying on relationships with people they only have access to virtually, and allows them to connect with the full spectrum of communication and feel supported in person as well.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/static.qustodio.com\/public-site\/uploads\/2022\/10\/11122232\/Blog_AreOnlineFriendshipsGoodForTeens_InsideImage.png” alt=”Are online friendships healthy for teens” title_text=”Blog_AreOnlineFriendshipsGoodForTeens_InsideImage” align=”center” disabled_on=”off|off|off” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n As with anything our children do on devices, safety is a concern and should be a priority when it comes to online friendships. It\u2019s important to talk with kids about online safety in general, and especially when it comes to providing personal details.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This includes helping kids know when it\u2019s okay to tell someone information<\/a> such as birthdate, address, school name, etc. It\u2019s also critical to have conversations about what kinds of personal information to share with others online about feelings, experiences, and more intimate life details. This is to help keep them safe, but also to help them think about who they should trust with this information versus not trust.<\/span><\/p>\n One of the best ways to do this is to <\/span>have open ongoing communication about who your child is connecting with online<\/b>, what level of friendship they feel they have with those people, and the kinds of things they\u2019re doing and sharing with each other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This helps you stay aware of areas where your child may need more guidance or support to navigate those relationships in healthy and safe ways. It also helps to cover \u201cred flags\u201d that would indicate someone online is not truly a friend and perhaps trying to take advantage of them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Red flags for suspicious online friendship behavior include:<\/span><\/p>\n These kinds of issues come up in face-to-face relationships as well, but can be uniquely difficult for many kids to navigate online in a virtual setting. Parental control tools, like Qustodio, provide a simple way for parents to stay aware of what kids are doing online in order to help guide them more effectively with these relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n There may come a time when it\u2019s best for your child to end an online friendship for a variety of reasons. It may be that they have outgrown the relationship, no longer share the same interests, or have other connections they\u2019d prefer to pursue. There may also be situations where the online friendship has become unhealthy, in which case <\/span>kids often benefit from parent support to know how to end those internet friendships<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Some kids may default to \u201cghosting\u201d their friends online, which basically means they just disappear and stop communicating with them. While there may be safety instances where this is warranted, <\/span>in general we want to help our children develop skills for bringing closure to relationships in healthier ways<\/b>. That can include helping them draft a text, DM, or other communication briefly explaining their desire to connect less frequently or to discontinue the friendship.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In the case of health or safety concerns, such as <\/span>online bullying<\/span><\/a> or other inappropriate behavior, kids may need support to report their peer to the platform they are using, block the person on social media, and\/or have words they can use if the person continues to try to contact them. No matter what you as the adult think about the relationship, <\/span>the goal should be to support your child and help them develop skills for navigating these situations<\/b> in safe and appropriate ways.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Even parents who are comfortable with their teens making new friends online are often hesitant about letting them take their friendship a step further by meeting up in real life.<\/span><\/p>\n Adolescent researcher danah boyd (who doesn\u2019t capitalize her name) says instead of banning these interactions, <\/span>parents should <\/b>use them as an opportunity<\/b><\/a> to teach kids how to meet strangers<\/b>. This is a skill they\u2019ll need when they leave home and meet their college roommate, potential dating partners, and even future work associates. She suggests that parents:<\/span><\/p>\n Like so many other situations parents and kids encounter, <\/span>meeting online friends in real life can be an opportunity for learning and growth<\/b> that will serve your child well as they become adults.<\/span><\/p>\n Our goal as parents should be to help our kids develop and maintain supportive and healthy relationships in whatever ways work best for them. This means supporting the development of internet friendships as appropriate, and using those opportunities as a way to help kids develop relational and safety skills they can use throughout their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The ability to be in constant contact with strangers online is a relatively new phenomenon, and kids connecting with people they don\u2019t know in real life and developing friendships in an online environment has become much more the norm. As a result, it\u2019s normal for adults to have questions and concerns about online friendships and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":38275,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"Parents begin telling their kids not to talk to strangers as soon as they can make sense of the words, but is this advice as relevant to the virtual world as it is to the real one?\u00a0An impressive and growing body of research indicates that there are many benefits to online relationships during adolescence.\r\n\r\n<\/a>\r\n\r\n### Making Friends Online is Easy\r\n\r\nWhether the world is really more dangerous now than it was a few decades ago is debatable, but there\u2019s no doubting the fact that modern parents are more vigilant than their parents were with them. As an unintended consequence of these new precautions, however, teens are more isolated than they\u2019ve ever been, at least in the physical sense. Young teens, especially, often aren\u2019t allowed to roam the neighborhood or visit the homes of friends they know from school, so they turn to the next best thing\u2014social media. Sixteen-year-old Justina tells Teen Vogue that she prefers making friends online: \u201cBeing online actually gives you the chance to make a friendship happen faster than it would in real life because you have constant access to each other.\u201d \r\n\r\n\r\n### Social Media Helps Kids Find Common Interests\r\n\r\nWe all know that real, lasting friendships are often formed as a result of a common interest. Two friends on the same soccer team find out they also have a love of science fiction, for instance. These common interests can be more difficult for kids to discover in real life, especially in school where they\u2019re grouped based on age alone. Teens who are early or late bloomers often have trouble making friends with their same-aged peers. With social media, however, kids have the opportunity to make friends with kids of different ages. By liking and following certain channels or forums, it\u2019s easy for teens to express their interests and connect with like-minded peers. These common interests can be the basis for friendships and can also facilitate offline engagement. For instance, a recent study found that kids who participated in political and civil discussions online were more likely to volunteer and be active members of their communities. \r\n\r\n\r\n### Online Friendships Can Boost Confidence and Self-Esteem\r\n\r\nResearch has shown that shy or socially awkward teens benefit the most from online friendships. These are the kids who have a lot to say but hesitate to speak up for fear of rejection or criticism\u2014risks that are minimized in online venues. When kids feel that they are emotionally safe to express themselves, it becomes a lot easier to crack a joke or engage in small talk in order to make friends. Though parents often dissuade kids from talking to people they don\u2019t know online, there are actually benefits to such interactions. For instance, teens who chat while playing video games report having better friendships that those who play alone, making them less vulnerable to the negative and potentially long-term repercussions of a friendless adolescence such as unemployment and poor mental health. \r\n\r\n\r\n### Should Teens Meet Up With Online Friends IRL (In Real Life)?\r\n\r\nEven parents who are comfortable with their teens making new friends online are often hesitant about letting them take their friendship a step further by meeting up in real life. Adolescent researcher danah boyd (who prefers her name written in lowercase) says instead of banning these interactions, parents should use the opportunity to teach teens how to meet strangers, arguing that it\u2019s a skill they\u2019ll need when they leave the nest and meet their college roommate, for instance. boyd suggests that parents ask questions, help their teensverify the person\u2019s identity, and accompany them to their first offline meeting. \r\n\r\nQustodio offers parents many tools for helping their teens navigate online friendships. Download our free software<\/a> today, and help us spread the message by sharing this post with other parents of teens!\r\n\r\nNote: The opinions above belong to Melissa Maypole, Head of Corporate Social Responsibility for Qustodio. Download Qustodio\u2019s free software<\/a> to begin managing, monitoring, and understanding your kids\u2019 online media consumption today.\r\n\r\nFor more information on digital parenting and online safety, follow us on Twitter<\/a> and Facebook.<\/a>\r\n\r\n\r\n#### References\r\n\r\nR U Friends 4 Real? http:\/\/www.apa.org\/monitor\/2012\/02\/friends.aspx<\/a>\r\n\r\nShould Parents Let Teens Meet Online Friends? http:\/\/www.today.com\/moms\/should-parents-let-teens-meet-online-friends-2D79317640<\/a>\r\n\r\nWhy Online Friendships Are the New Norm http:\/\/www.teenvogue.com\/advice\/friendship-advice\/2014-01\/online-friendships<\/a>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[47],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAre online friendships healthy? <\/b><\/h2>\n
When does an online friendship become unhealthy? <\/b><\/h2>\n
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Are online friendships as valuable as face-to-face friendships?<\/b><\/h2>\n
Finding a balance between on and offline friendships<\/b><\/h2>\n
How do you keep online friendships safe? <\/b><\/h2>\n
\n
How to end an online friendship <\/b><\/h2>\n
Should teens meet up with online friends IRL (in real life)?<\/b><\/h2>\n
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